New Gamer Bloopers
by kawaii-rae
Summary: feeling down and need some laugh? PURE HUMOR my brother and I made up while editingwriting up New Gamer. A good set of laughs for each chapter. Hope you all enjoy! dont forget to Read n Review! Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: the Beginning ORIGINAL

When she opened her eyes, she was on another stain glass floor. When she got up, there was a door that stood in the middle of the glass. Her thoughts were being interrupted by the voice.

"uh...lights please." The voice called out. Then, a beam of light fell onto the door.

Yumi went up to the door and examined the door. She jerked at the door opener.

"You can't open it yet." The voice said.

Chapter 1: the Beginning BLOOPER

When she opened her eyes, she was on another stain glass floor. When she got up, there was a door that stood in the middle of the glass. Her thoughts were being interrupted by the voice.

"uh...lights please." The voice called out.

"I SAID LIGHTS!" The voice hollered.

"Oh, sorry boss.." said another voice. A beam of light fell on the door.

"Jeez, I hate it when this interferes with our lunch break." Said another voice.

"Tell me about it…" said another, another voice.

Yumi went up to the door and examined the door. She jerked at the door opener.

"Wait..hold on. Let me get my lines first before you open it." The voice said.

An opening door sounded and footsteps walked out. Yumi mumbled something that not even the narrator (which is me) couldn't hear. She tried yanking the door by the door handle. Slowly, she placed one…then two feet on the door. She pulled as hard as she could then YANK… the door handles came off and she landed on her butt, hard on the floor making a PLOP noise.

"OH SHIT!" Yumi said quietly to herself. She looked at the two handles tried to hook it back to the door.

"huh… its says you can't open it yet." The voice said.

"Uh, yeah. Figures! Ha…." She said trying to be funny. She kept the door handles in the original spot on the door with her hands gripped to the handle so it looks like the handles never came off in the first place.

Director: CUT CUT! Someone fix the door handles! And for the last time, LUNCH BREAK IS OVER! Hey! You gotta have your lines memorized or else your fired!

The voice: okay, boss….


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The mystical land of Kingdom Hearts ORIGINAL

Yumi turned to the dog. "Do you know where we are?" The dog ran off leaving Yumi alone. "Hey! Come back!" Yumi tried to follow the dog, but when she turned to the right, she lost the dog.

* * *

"Hey, You okay?" A girl with short black hair in beige shorts and a green tank top with a grey headband, a yellow scarf and orange gloves stood before him. "My name's Yuffie."

"Yea I guess so." The boy said. "Whoa, what about that girl that was with me? She protected me!"

Yuffie turned to the other side of the bed. Yumi was still blacked out. "She'll come around in awhile. But she got hit pretty badly."

"Those creatures that attacked you are after the Keyblade. But it's your heart they really want, because you wield the Keyblade." Yuffie explained.

"That's Leon." Yuffie said pointing to the guy that battled him earlier.

"So, what's your name kid?" Yuffie asked.

"It's Sora." The boy said.

"The Keyblade..." Sora said to himself.

"Yea, we had to get it away from you to shake off those creatures. It turns out that's how they were tracking you." Yuffie said.

"It was the only way to conceal your heart from them. But it won't work for long. Still, It's hard to believe that you, out of all people are the chosen one. Well, I guess beggars can't be chooses" Leon said.

They heard a groan from the bed. Yumi woke up and stared at Leon then Yuffie. Then she turned around and saw Sora. "What's going on?" Yumi asked.

"You blacked out when my strongest fireball weapon hit you. It seems like you were trying to save Sora." Leon explained. "And you cut me, making my pants rip."

* * *

They fought their way through second district to third district. All of a sudden, Yumi and Sora stood in the middle of an arena. Kabonk! Sora and Yumi were on the floor and Goofy and Donald landed on top of them.

"Oww..."Yumi said.

"Uh, sorry ma'am." Goofy apologized.

"The Key!" Goofy and Donald said when they found Sora holding onto the Keyblade.

"Yea, yea yea. But would you just PLEASE get off of me! You guys are very heavy!" Yumi complained.

"Sorry." Goofy said getting off and helping Yumi up. The floor vibrated as all of the possible exits were being blocked and a row of heartless danced in front of them.

Chapter 2: The Mystical land of Kingdom Hearts BLOOPERS

Yumi turned to the dog. "Do you know where we are?" The dog ran off leaving Yumi alone. "Hey! Come back!" The dog came back to Yumi.

"No, no. Stupid!" Yumi said laughing pushing the dog away from her. "The other way, go the other way! Hahaah!"

Director: Cut Cut! Someone teach that dog to do the right thing!

* * *

"Hey, You okay?" A girl with short black hair in beige shorts and a green tank top with a grey headband, a yellow scarf and orange gloves stood before him. "My name's Yuffie."

"Yea I guess so." The boy said. "Whoa, what about that girl that was with me? She protected me!"

Yuffie turned to the other side of the bed. Yumi was still blacked out. "She'll come around in awhile. But she got hit pretty badly."

"Those creatures that attacked you are after the Keyblade. But it's your heart they really want, because you wield the Keyblade." Yuffie explained.

"That's Leon." Yuffie said pointing to the guy that battled him earlier.

"So, what's your name kid?" Yuffie asked.

"It's Sora." The boy said.

"The Keyblade..." Sora said to himself.

A muffled laugh came from Yumi. Her face had a big smile but her eyes closed. Yumi woke up and stared at Leon then Yuffie. Then she turned around and saw Sora. "What's going on?" Yumi asked.

"What's so funny?" Leon asked with a serious look on his face.

Sora, Yumi and Yuffie all laughed.

"What is so funny?" Leon asked with a smile on his face.

Director: (laughs) CUT CUT! Let us shoot that scene again. (still laughing..)

* * *

They fought their way through second district to third district. All of a sudden, Yumi and Sora stood in the middle of an arena. Kabonk! Sora and Yumi were on the floor and Goofy and Donald landed on top of them.

"Oww..."Yumi said.

"Uh, sorry ma'am." Goofy apologized.

"The Key!" Goofy and Donald said when they found Sora holding onto the Keyblade.

"Yea, yea yea. But would you just PLEASE get off of me! You guys are very heavy!" Yumi complained.

"uhm, nope!" Goofy said still sitting on top of Yumi and Sora. "A-hyuck! I'm just kidding!"

Director: CUT CUT! (still laughing) Stop with the humor, guys! (laughs even harder)

**A/N: sorry. kinda got bored..I lent my Kingdom Hearts game to my cousin...grr, never gave it back...so ima march over and like...i dont kno, hurt him til he gives back my game! ROFL! ok ok!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Alice in Wonderland ORIGINAL 

Yumi, Sora, Donald, and Goofy fell thought a long tunnel, floating in the air. Sora, Yumi and Donald landed safely on the ground. Goofy, knowing himself, he's a bit clumsy, fell face flat.

"Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" A white rabbit said running in front of them. It ran over Goofy and said, "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I'm here, I should be there. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! The queen, she'll have my head for sure!"

"You dare object? Then you will lose your head!" She exclaimed. "Now choose! One box!"

Sora stepped up to the middle box feeling confident in himself.

"Are you certain? No second chances!" the queen said.

"Yes I'm sure." Sora said with a confident attitude.

"Now we will see how the real culprit is!" the queen hollered.

As the box opened, a heartless appeared for a couple of seconds, then disappeared.

"There's something about this musty place..." Sora heard a voice and whirled around and saw Kairi walking into the room. "It reminds me of the secret place back home, where we used to scribble on the walls. Remember?" She turned to Sora.

"Kairi?" He said.

"Sora?" he heard Goofy's voice behind him. He turned and saw Goofy, Donald and Yumi behind him. Then He turned forward and saw that Kairi was gone.

"Riku!" Sora said in amazement. He went up to Riku and stuck his fingers in Riku's mouth making it look like a silly face.

"Hey, hey. Cut it out!" Riku said moving Sora's hands away from his face.

"I'm not dreaming this time, right?" Sora asked.

"I hope not. Took forever to find you." Riku said.

Chapter 3: Alice in Wonderland BLOOPERS 

Yumi, Sora, Donald, and Goofy fell thought a long tunnel, floating in the air. Sora, Yumi and Donald landed safely on the ground. Goofy, knowing himself, he's a bit clumsy, fell face flat.

"Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!..oof!" the rabbit tripped on the ground and started laughing. Everyone else started laughing as well.

Director: Cut Cut! Haha! Lets shoot that scene again! haha…!

"You dare object? Then you will lose your head!" She exclaimed. "Now choose! One box!"

Sora stepped up to the middle box feeling confident in himself.

"Are you certain? No second chances!" the queen said.

"Yes I'm sure." Sora said with a confident attitude.

"Now we will see how the real culprit is!" the queen hollered.

As the box opened, Sora placed his hand in and pulled out something.

"This is the real culprit!" Sora held up the purple and pink Ceshire Cat.

"Aha….hello." the cat said with a grin.

Director: CUT CUT! Ahahaha! Stop it, Stop it! Make them stop! Hahaha!

"There's something about this musty place..." Sora heard a voice and whirled around and saw Kairi walking into the room. "It reminds me of the secret place back home, where we used to scribble on the walls. Remember?" She turned to Sora.

"Kairi?" He said.

"Sora?" he heard Goofy's voice behind him. He turned and saw Goofy, Donald and Yumi behind him. Then He turned forward and saw that Kairi was still there.

"What the..!" Sora said.

"….ohh! whoops! Was it my turn to leave the set?" Kairi said surprisingly shocked and felt embarrassed.

Director: CUT CUT! Kairi…when Goofy says, "Sora?" all you have to do is to exit the right so when the camera moves to film Sora, you're not there…

Kairi: oohh…ok! Gottcha! I got it! ( thumbs up)

"Riku!" Sora said in amazement. He went up to Riku and stuck his fingers in Riku's mouth making it look like a silly face.

"Hey, hey. Cut it out!" Riku said moving Sora's hands away from his face.

"My turn!" Yumi said. She went up to Riku and stuck her fingers in Riku's mouth making it look like a silly face, too.

"Ooh ooh! My turn too!" Kairi shouted from beyond the set and ran up to Riku. She was about to stick her hands when the director said…

Director: CUT CUT! Kairi! Don't do that! Haha….! And Yumi! Don't get me started with you! Haha….!

A/N: hey hey! Mannn! These bloopers are HELLA funny! Well it should be funny to me since I made it up! Anyways, READ AND REVIEW, DANG IT! THANKXX!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oohhh yesss! Finally! I got my first reviews for this story! Yippee! Erm, okk…I'm still kind of new to this stuff so…I'm just going with the flow here, people. Well, I don't know how those… "Comment" things go….like where you comment someone back from their review…. I think this is how it went or goes like…**

**Dj Sarabi:** YOU are totally right! Haha! Got some scenes with Tarzan with the &&X ! haha! Just keep reading! Thanks for the wonderful comment!

**Sora-is-a-hottie:** Ok ok. I'm actually agreeing with you. Sorry. I should've done that in the first place…that's a great idea. Yeah, don't worry. I gotcha! Thanks for the lovely comment !

**Ok ok…just for your information…I had this fanfiction chapter typed up already and ready to go….when I was in a rush, and forgot to save it -- () ….then my brother thought it was a piece of crap and decided to play on the computer and exited the fan fiction (Microsoft word) window….dang him..oh well…so for all of you out there…DON'T FORGET TO SAVE YOUR WORK!**

**Chapter 4: The Deep Jungle ORIGINAL**

AFTER YUMI&SORA AND DONALD&GOOFY GOT SEPERATED FROM THE GUMI SHIP….

Sora and Yumi screamed as they fell from tree branch to tree branch until they landed hard in the tree house.

"Ow, my head..." Sora looked around and saw Yumi on the floor. "Yumi! Wake up!" Sora said shaking her back and forth by the shoulders

"SSSttoop iitt! Yoou'rrreee gggeettiinng mmeee siickk!" Yumi tried to say but didn't know if Sora could understand what she was saying.

"Oh, sorry. Are you ok!" Sora asked.

"Ugh...if you would've kept on going, I would've past out or somethin'...O, my head. Where are we?" Yumi asked.

* * *

YUMI AND SORA MEET TARZAN, THE MAN WHO SCARED THE JAGUAR AWAY.

"Right." Sora said. He looked over the man's shoulder and saw kairi.

"Sora, what are you looking at?" Yumi asked. Sora didn't say anything.

"Kairi, friends?" the man asked.

"Uh, right..." Sora said and turned back at Kairi. Kairi turned and walked in back of the man and disappeared.

"Sora, what are you looking at?" Sora whirled around at Yumi. "You don't see her? She was right there, in a purple skirt. Didn't you see her!" Sora asked. "I guess that cheetah did knock you pretty hard against that wall." Yumi laughed.

"Friend, here." The man said.

"Really?" Sora asked.

"&&X." the man spoke like an ape.

"Not sure I understand, but show me! Take me to Riku and Kairi!" Sora said.

* * *

WHEN THEY ALL MET BACK AT THE TENT…..

"Sora! Yumi!" Goofy shouted out.

"Goofy! Donald!" Sora and Yumi hollered together. Sora and Donald hugged each other. "Huh?" Sora and Donald said at the same time. They looked at each other and remembered what had happened on the Gummi Ship. "Humph" they both said stepping away from each other and crossing their arms looking away from each other.

"Oui, this could get ugly." Yumi said.

"A circus of clowns. Not much use for hunting gorillas." He said walking out of the tent.

"Mr. Clayton, we're studying them, not hunting them. This is research." Jane turned around and faced them. "Well, the more the merrier. Do make yourselves at home."

BACK AT THE TENT WHEN THE GANG CAUGHT CLAYTON TRYING TO SHOOT A GORILLA…

"How could you do such a thing!" Jane yelled at Clayton.

"Now, Mrs. Porter, as I told you, I was not aiming at the gorilla." Clayton said

"You're not to go near the gorillas ever again." Jane said strictly.

"All because of one mishap? Come now...huh?" he said.

In front of him stood six angry people. Tarzan had a mean look on his face like the rest.

Clayton exited the tent. "What am I doing with these imbeciles?" he said to himself outside. Blasted the gorillas! I'll hunt down every last one of them! I'll track them down somehow. I'll stake my life on it." Clayton took his pipe. Before he smoked it, he heard many noises in the thicket. Being frightened, immediately, he fired his gun.

* * *

RUNNING THROUGH THE THICKET AND INTO THE VINEY AREA AFTER THEY HEARD CLAYTON'S GUN GO OFF…

Yumi, Sora, Donald and Goofy all ran to the Cliff. They saw a whole group of gorillas being guarded by heartless powerwilds.

They saw Clayton about to shoot a gorilla.

"No!" Sora shouted distracting Clayton from firing. The gorilla escaped.

"Clayton?" Sora hollered.

"Not Clayton. &&X! (ape language...) Not Clayton!" Tarzan snapped.

* * *

WHEN THE GANG AND TARZAN REACH THE MAGNIFICENT WATERFALLS…

"Tarzan, home." Tarzan said facing the magnificent waterfall.

They all went into the Waterfall caves. There were ledges and puddles of water.

They arrived into a secret place. There, stood a large tree with a blue light. Sora, Yumi, Tarzan, Terk and Jane approched the blue light.

"&&X." Tarzan said in a ape language.

"This is your home? But that means..." Sora said.

"Huh?" Goofy said.

"The waterfalls are echoing all the way here." Jane explained.

&&X. Friends there. See friends.

"Oh, now I've got it. &&X means heart. Friends in our hearts..." Jane explained.

"Heart..." Tarzan mumbled

"Oh, so that's what it meant." Sora sounded dissapointed.

**Chapter 4: The Deep Jungle BLOOPERS**

AFTER YUMI&SORA AND DONALD&GOOFY GOT SEPERATED FROM THE GUMI SHIP….

Sora and Yumi screamed as they fell from tree branch to tree branch until they landed hard in the tree house.

"Ow, my head..." Sora looked around and saw Yumi on the floor. "Yumi! Wake up!" Sora said shaking her back and forth by the shoulders

"SSSttoop iitt! Yoou'rrreee gggeettiinng mmeee siickk!" Yumi tried to say but didn't know if Sora could understand what she was saying.

"Oh, sorry. Are you ok!" Sora asked. Yumi was too busy to answer Sora. She was busy watching from the window behind Sora. There by the window, some staging crew placed a jaguar on the window…oh look! It's a live one!

"Yumi..?" Sora said. "oh no! I lost Yumi again! noo!" Sora said shaking her back and forth by the shoulders…again.

"wwwhhooouulldd yyoouu sssttoppp itt! Immaaa pppukkkee iifff yyooouuuu kkeeepp tthhhiiiisss uuuppp, bbbaaakkkaaaa!" Yumi tried to say..again, but didn't know if Sora could still understand what she was saying.

(A/N: Baka means idiot in japanese!)

"Ohh. Whoops. Sorry." Sora apologized and stopped.

**Director: CUT CUT! Kids! Go and memorize your lines!  
**

* * *

YUMI AND SORA MEET TARZAN, THE MAN WHO SCARED THE JAGUAR AWAY.

"Right." Sora said. He looked over the man's shoulder and saw kairi.

"Sora, what are you looking at?" Yumi asked. Sora didn't say anything.

"Kairi, friends?" the man asked.

"Uh, right..." Sora said and turned back at Kairi. Kairi turned and walked in back of the man and she appeared on the other side of the man and kept her eyes on Sora and walked.

"Sora, what are you looking at?" Sora whirled around at Yumi. "You don't see her? She was right there, in a purple skirt. Didn't you see her!" Sora asked.

"oww..!" a voice came from behind the man. They turned around and saw Kairi holding her nose.

**Director: CUT CUT! What happened Kairi?**

**Kairi: I was walking and I didn't see it, but there was a pole and I hit my nose on it. Sora! Its all YOUR fault! (jokes)**

**Sora: what! I didn't do nothing!**

**Director: ok ok…lets shoot this scene again! places, people!**

**(click..) marker..take 2..and action..!**

"Friend, here." The man said.

"Really?" Sora asked.

"&&X." the man spoke like an ape.

"What the fuck?" Yumi said out loud without thinking. Kairi, Sora and Tarzan laughed their heads off.

**Director: Damn it! CUT CUT! Do it over, sheez! (laughs, too). Yumi! Keep your thoughts to yourself, please!**

**(click..) maker..take 3..and action..!**

"Right." Sora said. He looked over the man's shoulder and saw kairi.

"Sora, what are you looking at?" Yumi asked. Sora didn't say anything.

"Kairi, friends?" the man asked.

"Uh, right..." Sora said and turned back at Kairi. Kairi turned and walked in back of the man and disappeared.

"Holy shit! There IS a ghost girl here!" Yumi exclaimed.

"Ghost girl? What the hell?" Kairi said confused.  
**  
Director: Mann.. CUT CUT! EVERYONE, TAKE FIVE! (the director get asprin from his bag)**

* * *

WHEN THEY ALL MET BACK AT THE TENT…..

"Sora! Yumi!" Goofy shouted out.

"Goofy! Donald!" Sora and Yumi hollered together. Sora and Donald hugged each other. "Huh?" Sora and Donald said at the same time. They looked at each other and remembered what had happened on the Gummi Ship. "Humph" they both said stepping away from each other and crossing their arms looking away from each other.

"Oui, this could get ugly." Yumi said.

"A circus of clowns. Not much use for hunting gorillas." He said smoking a cigarette in the tent.

"Mr. Clayton! (Cough cough) please! Not in the tent!" Jane said coughed.

"What? Did someone call me?" Clayton said acting stupid.

"Get OUT!" Jane kicked Clayton out, literally! Clayton fell in a mud puddle that stopped the smoke from his cigarette.

**Director: CUT CUT! (laughs) Jane!… don't do that! (laughing harder!)  
**

* * *

BACK AT THE TENT WHEN THE GANG CAUGHT CLAYTON TRYING TO SHOOT A GORILLA…

"How could you do such a thing!" Jane yelled at Clayton.

"Now, Mrs. Porter, as I told you, I was not aiming at the gorilla." Clayton said

"You're not to go near the gorillas ever again." Jane said strictly.

"All because of one mishap? Come now...huh?" he said taking out a cigarette.

In front of him stood six angry people. Tarzan had a mean look on his face like the rest.

"oh no you don't! NOT IN MY TENT!" Jane yelled furiously at him. Jane kicked Clayton out, literally! Clayton fell in a mud puddle that stopped the smoke from his cigarette.

**Director: CUT CUT! Haah! Quit it Jane! Hahaah…..!  
**

* * *

RUNNING THROUGH THE THICKET AND INTO THE VINEY AREA AFTER THEY HEARD CLAYTON'S GUN GO OFF…

Yumi, Sora, Donald and Goofy all ran to the Cliff. They saw a whole group of gorillas being guarded by heartless powerwilds.

They saw Clayton about to shoot a gorilla.

"No!" Sora shouted distracting Clayton from firing. The gorilla escaped.

"Clayton?" Sora hollered.

"Not Clayton. &&X! (ape language...) Not Clayton!" Tarzan snapped.

"Shut up with the Ape-ish language crap, damn it!" Yumi said slapping Tarzan in the head.

"Shut up. I have to talk like that. It says it right here." Tarzan said grabbing the script and flipping to a page where it says this:

_**Tarzan must talk with an Ape-ish acccent language throughout the performance.**_

"Well, would you quit it! It's driving me insane!" Yumi said.

"Ahh! I just explained to you why I have to talk like this!…humph, you know what? Forget it!" Tarzan said.

**Director: CUT CUT! Lines, people, Lines!_  
_**

* * *

WHEN THE GANG AND TARZAN REACH THE MAGNIFICENT WATERFALLS…

"Tarzan, home." Tarzan said facing the magnificent waterfall.

They all went into the Waterfall caves. There were ledges and puddles of water.

They arrived into a secret place. There, stood a large tree with a blue light. Sora, Yumi, Tarzan, Terk and Jane approched the blue light.

"&&X." Tarzan said in a ape language.

"This is your home? But that means..." Sora said.

"Huh?" Goofy said.

"The waterfalls are echoing all the way here." Jane explained.

&&X. Friends there. See friends.

"Oh, now I've got it. &&X means heart. Friends in our hearts..." Jane explained.

"Damn it! You guys could've said that before you know!" Yumi shouted.

**Director: CUT, CUTT! Damn it, people! Stick with the lines!**


	5. darn writer's block

OMGGGG! WUT THE HELL! Im like…stupid. Ok not really. I was just kidding…my god..

Freakin' writer's block…..

Thanks a lot, Cynthia…gee..go ahead and spread the germ of writer's block. Haha, anyhow, im like MAJOR busy .. too busy actually…I'm a leader for a daycamp, but next week I got free time ... cools then. Ima work on this and the "New Gamer Bloopers" chapters too. I thank all of you who are being VERY patient about this….bless you people.

Thanks again! Until then.. (smiles)

3 kawaii-rae


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